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sod xmas [ 1:38 AM ]

current song : red star - birthday massacre

current mood : neutral

when you were young,

you grew up with everyone telling you things will change when you're older

no. they lied

everything is still the same

And at some point you learn to give up your dreams

because hanging in there makes you seem like a bigger loser

i like this.
reminds me of my own dysfunctional family

couloulou [ 11:56 PM ]

current song : pixie lott - mama do
current mood : sick and bored

i have no idea what to do next.

if you have a clue,mail me

the next change [ 1:04 AM ]

current song : beautiful dirty rich - lady gaga

current mood : insecure

last night i had a freaky dream about my ex boyfriend

same old trauma dream. just a different boy.

im never gonna get over this

i dont have plans this year

i dont

i wont.

sorry to disappoint.

want your bad romance [ 2:43 AM ]

current song : bad romance - lady gaga
current mood : sick

shot with Jasmijn today for Shirley's shop

screens from colour testing, i actually like how it turned out

considering the bad weather and lack of light

i was talking to someone with reference to lady gaga's bad romance (electro renaissance,love)

that person didnt have a clue what i was talking about

im starting to think that that person lives in a cave ):

having a sudden headache,hit like a force 8 gale

annoyed

Kinderheim 511 [ 11:54 PM ]

current song : wet blanket - metric

current mood : accomplished

when work gets boring and a crazy friend drops by

its always the same [ 2:03 AM ]

current song : nat king cole - christmas song
current mood : sad

Usually by mid december,every year without fail,

i would have plans to go somewhere,with tickets booked,plans made and stuff

its already 1st dec.

i dont have confirmed plans yet, and yet im so afraid to make any

i dont want to be disappointed.

i find it so hard to talk to people now,

people who talk endlessly about throwing fantastic year end xmas parties

because these parties.

you have to admit it

they never happen.

so.

year after year of disappointment,xmas in front of a flickering tv set ,no nothing

really not looking forward to anything.

and every xmas,this really horrible memory from a few years back also never fails to come back and haunt me.

I was 13,and had the worst breakup ever.

EVER. imagine wrist cutting,drinking,social distancing and lots of crying

it wasnt even a one day breakup

it dragged on for quite awhile, peaking at xmas,

ending on the first day of the new year. horrible way to start it

So i was going through this really shitty phase,and my cousin was conviniently getting married to the girl of his dreams

so on the day of the wedding,

im sitting in front of the computer screen,feeling fucking mopey and sorry for myself,

my mother comes out and tells me to get changed for the reception

But I'm feeling so terrible about this boy that i dont think going to someone's wedding,watching people being in love while im out of love,would be the smartest thing to do,

duh,i would feel even shittier

i told my mom i wasnt feeling well..which soon ended up in a verbal war

i ended up being dragged to the wedding anyway

worst day of my life.

its so fucked up already,just being freshly out of a relationship

worse when you realise people are rubbing salt in your wounds by dragging you to watch 2 people behave romantically,

and not only that,

your family knows you just broke up with your significant other,AND THEY'RE WHISPERING TO EACH OTHER ABOUT IT

and looking at you to see what would your reaction be when the bride and groom kissed.

its a miracle i didnt projectile vomit over the bride and groom

but during the whole thing i just wanted to cry my guts out while having to fake-smile

time heals all wounds

eventually i did get over him and forget him

but all wounds also leave a huge ugly badass scar

and its still there,reminding me every xmas,

like "HAH! i have what you dont! RIGHT IN YOUR FACE *inserts spiteful remark*"

fml

i hate your boyfriend [ 11:48 AM ]

current song : sigoynerblod - kaizer's orchestra
current mood : upset

been hanging out with the usuals the past week

brought macbook out to mac-whore on the train after dutch class

damn kewl,now we look like angelina jolie too!

danial self porn

hung out at mac's till late

uni-brow

i-need-a-nose-job

i have hot nose and cheeks ):

sleepover with laitlait and shou. AWESMEST ALMOST-SLEEPOVER EVAH

heh

NOMNOM

Both of them so cute,but its always me who ends up with the spazzy bushy eyebrow -.-

aww. kuro-faced

looks like queen of hearts in the new alice in wonderland movie

shiro and kuro face

middle. f-ffff-fffff face HEH

spazzy eyebrow!!

short nose/long nose.

watched tekkonkinkreet,had mochi ice cream and fried chicken.

it was so fun,that i wish i stayed

instead of leaving so early ):

bah

accompanied mat to milk studios to shoot with brendan the next day

lace stockinggggsss. LOVE

aww Brendan!

such a nice guy

random photos from the week

i had a particularly sucky yesterday

After spending hours into drilling and building,

THE FULL MONTY WITH A FUCKING HEAVY BOSCHE DRILL AND NAILS

the model texts,damn late at night,to say she can't make it

plus its not just me who actually worked their asses off for this shoot

my make up artist

was sewing a 5m hood

when i told her

it kind of didnt register,so there was a few seconds of silence

like we're staring at each other with eyes wide open and silence,from not knowing how to react to the sudden news

then she went

"WHAT!"

and then from there,verbal model-hating diarhoea spewed

"#^$^%^&)*)()_*)*()&*^&%^&$%^#$%@#$@#$!$@^%$^&%&*^^(&(*&(&)*"

if you did half of what we did for this

you would be pissed too

extremely pissed

when you know the real reason for cancellation is just fucking stupid,contradicting

AND ITS LAST MINUTE

and someone forwarded me a text saying

"eh tell your friend to cancel the shoot "

furious already

WHO DOES THIS INDIAN BOY THINK HE IS

JUST TELLING ME TO CANCEL A SHOOT

I WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR THIS

cancel your mother cheebai uh.

fuck you [ 11:22 PM ]

current song : arcade fire - laika

current mood : annoyed

my whole week has been filled with last minute junk food lunch and dinners

hence my previous week's i-will-not-eat-anything diet has simply gone to waste.

it fucking annoys me

i dont wanna fucking step into any fast food shop-of-horrors,ESPECIALLY MACDONALDS.

i dont wanna be made to walk under the fucking hot sun

i dont want to make a pit stop halfway across fucking singapore from where i live,just to do some simple task or be stood up

i dont want to do the things i dont wanna do,just because you want to do them

i dont wanna go out at all

we're closed now [ 1:59 PM ]

current song : burger time

current mood : bored

the stye has burst

bwahahhahaha

now the pain has faded to a dull throb

no makeup,right eyelid still swollen though.

woke up at 7 today,in normal circumstances,i would be late for school,

but fuck it,haha

ive graduateddddd

spent the day drawing on my arm and browsing youtube

gotta love the 80s

still feel so sick. urgh

get out of my elite uncaring face [ 6:55 PM ]

current song : The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
current mood : mentally raped

spoiler ahead

went to watch paranormal activity yesterday

was very snuggly wuggly,but the movie sucked

i mean come on, 1 hr of 2 people walking about,them in bed (not even doing anything at that)

the "demonic activity" filmed,came in the form of footsteps in powder,doors moving,loud noises,covers pulled off,katie pulled off the bed

the only action came at the end of the movie..like the last 4 minutes

with katie having her psycho-bitch-posessed-by-demon face,throwing her boyfriend's dead body at the camera,and then staring at the camera,and supposedly bites the camera.

there

end of movie

wadafak,no action!

anyways i went back home,with my eyes still prettied up

felt a slight stabbing pain in the corner of my right eye,but i ignored it

initially i thought that maybe i havent been sleeping well,it could be strain on the veins

or something

next morning i woke up with a frikin stye in my eye -.-

an infected eyelash follicle.

more simply known as AN EYE PIMPLE -.-

fucking painful

i can't blink without tearing up

tried to sleep this afternoon,after i got back home

but couldnt,due to those stupid fuggers who kept calling

30 missed calls

i are cranky and in pain nao

story of my life ):

wow this shit annoys me so bad [ 2:52 PM ]

current song : gorillaz - demon days

current mood : pissed

So heres the thing

every single guy who claims that they're in "love" with me,

has a girlfriend

(like how does that even work?)

so heres a suggestion,

vair wise too,coming from me

DUMP THAT GIRL THEN COME BACK AND TALK TO ME,OKAY?

IF NOT

DONT TALK TO ME AT ALL

fucking hell. to think i've already put up with you for so damn long

waste my time

kaythxbai

i do my own stunts [ 2:25 AM ]

current song : the games you play - wax tailor
current mood : insomnia

and after,

the loss slowly sets in

when you finally realise that they have all changed

then you spend several nights lying on your back,

as the traffic lights outside casts long green and red shadows

dancing across your ceiling

the sounds of the occasional lone car on the highway stirs you from your almost-slumber

you're wide awake and wondering if theres anything that could be done to change things

but you know all thats left is just a memory

like the dirty coffee stains on mom's white linen

no one was ever gonna be how they used to be

that was the beginning

this is our end

and everything in between was all gray..

im pregnant [ 9:09 PM ]

current song :

current mood :

if i made a baby with my boyfriend,this is what he would look like!

absolutely adorable! lets see who's your daddy :p

oh ew

but seriously,

this is what my baby would be like

what?
just sayin ^^

cloudy with a chance of meatballs [ 10:46 PM ]

current song : kelis - trick me
current mood : disappointed

i rolled out of bed this morning and got vair bored,

and bryan was on msn and happened to be vair bored too!

...and this is how we ended up at ikea together

"buy meatballs!" heh

waiting-for-you-to-come-back-with-meatballs face

happy boy with meatballs and showing off slr!!

yay ^_^

le camwhoring session proceeds

F-F-F-F-FF-FFFFF-FFFF-FOOD!!!!!!

off with their heads,i say

o muthafocking yums DD:

so random in a pretty toilet -o wtf.

and old pics from a week ago!

sleepover at sugar's with chieulin

her drawing on sugar's wall. poor girl,her feel were hurting so much for standing throughout the whole night without sleeping

whereas i,slept like a log.

gh3y

gh3y 2

-watching a horror movie,<> so cheesy but the actors are *SO* hot

and also,chieulin brought her 29 bottles of nail polish

oooer!!!!! *_*

i had myself some fun!

in layering

in which i promptly fell asleep after i finished painting

heh

had dentist appointment the next day, couldnt get enough of my nails ^^

here's the end result of my 3hrs of nail painting!!!!

i laike :D

although its quite hard to bathe and wash your bum-oley (kidding,heh)

fuck my life [ 8:01 PM ]

I took the quiz "Do your own PALM READING!!!" and got the result ► Result #2!

Your reading denotes seriousness, wisdom, balance and sadness. You're picky with your lovers. You're a thorough and careful thinker. You are more active mentally than physically. There may be a restriction to the direction you take by your emotional fears, loves etc. You may sacrifice direction for a relationship.

you may sacrifice direction for a relationship?

...its true
fuck my life

AHAHAHAHHA [ 12:25 AM ]

current song : -

current mood : busybee

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:21:52)

(inserts link to bio teacher's fb)

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:21:52)

BIO TEACHER

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:21:52)

LOOK

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:24:05)

wow hes hot

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:12)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:14)

DOINT ADD

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:15)

HIM

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:16)

I WILL

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:17)

STAB YOU

at this point of time i decide to freak her out

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:24:24)

..too late

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:37)

OMG

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:24:41)

NO FUCKING WAY

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:24:44)

10 minutes later. (ok actually just 5)

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:31:05)

HES HOT

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:31:06)

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:31:09)

REALLY

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:31:10)

I LIKE

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:31:36)

DID

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:31:39)

YOU REALLY ADD

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:31:42)

he s married..

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:31:44)

and has 3 kids

MathildeAnne says: (AM 12:31:44)

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (AM 12:32:09)

no la i bluff you

hahahahhaha mat got pwned

i seemed [ 10:08 PM ]

current song : -

current mood : happy

i seemed to have lost my sense of direction for awhile

· Giorgio § ..-.. I hate This! says: (PM 10:04:10)

I will read it for you this weekend and figure out everything

· Giorgio § ..-.. I hate This! says: (PM 10:04:16)

you are goin to study here

· Giorgio § ..-.. I hate This! says: (PM 10:04:19)

and thats that

gommedecerise / halt! hammerzeit! says: (PM 10:04:27)

gah i love you ^^

ah there it is

while the master's away,the cat comes out to play [ 8:36 PM ]

current song : janis joplin
current mood :sick

ooer

i love broken bleeding dolls

the boy ive had a crush on since i was little,left for tranny-a-gogo-land today

im a little bit...sad :/

he sucks zoidberg's moobs ):

but fuck,i miss him

thou shalt drown thou's sorrows in sugar-free lemonade and the simpsons

suckas ):

you might read this..but i'll take my chances [ 9:29 PM ]

current song : oh my god - ida maria
current mood : amused

i think im in control.

on the topic of indian hookers,a former acquaintance once told me that no indian hooker could ever replace me,or that would ever be needed in the said acquaintance's life.

he now has an indian girlfriend

what irony
i am vair amused and i say this in the most loving manner,that i am laughing my ass off as i think of you,

disgusting ^_^

on the other hand,i just noticed this

hur. funny it doesnt hurt the least bit

in my room [ 11:50 AM ]

current song : karuan - circles
current mood : bored

sleeping in my newly converted home office,
its cold(today's lowest temperature is 24 degrees!!) and theres imogen heap and karuan playing from my macbook
lovely day.

hynotised [ 12:52 AM ]

current song : karuan - chocolate distance
current mood : chill

just committed online suicide
and took one big step for reality

went out with bitch clique and best friend,caught 2012 and bummed around town till late
aimlessly wandering around town in circles and sitting on train station floors at night made me realise that it was just really stupid to give dreams up for affection
really really stupid
and ever since exams ended,its the first time im spending time with my best friend
till past curfew
i think ill miss you
and that you were the only person i really superglued myself to,and told everything to in secondary school

i feel like some girl who got pregnant underage and doesnt know what to do
(figure of speech of course)

i should have persisted on the plane ticket
it would last me 4 years more of joy
thats 3 years 11 months more of that,than you'll ever give me

favourite song at the moment

misere [ 12:30 PM ]

current song : the kills - superpowerless
current mood : stuffed

ive stopped liking to be around my family.
because i hate being force fed.
its disgusting

where did my ribcage go

beneath the skin [ 11:22 PM ]

current song : me
current mood : sad

i dont
want you
to think
i do
these things
i do
because
of you

met pierre luc today.
because i felt crapola
still felt vair crapola when i reached home

):

OH HILARY [ 4:33 PM ]

current song : -
current mood : confused

You: heyy
Stranger: any one from tamilnadu i want to suck ur boobs,ass and pussy
Stranger: any one from tamilnadu i want to suck ur boobs,ass and pussy
You: im god
You: and you're going to hell
Stranger: ok come first
You: I KEEL YOU

YEAH. PEDOBEARS GO TO HELL WHERE THEY ARE BAKED AT 360 DEGREES IN A GIGANTUM OVEN
eww indian pedobears

f my life today.
i was being typerhappy when my internet got cut
so being the typical annoyed customer,i called starhub
only to have them promptly informing me that i havent been paying my bills (for the past few months)
so i was thinking "huh,how is that possible!buggers"
then i went to check the pile of mail on the drawer
Apparently they've been sending the bills to my place instead of my dad's,since my parents are seperated

so..thats $138.37 worth of bills to be paid
AND. my dad is in vietnam now
eff my life

i wonder if there's a penalty charge for not paying the bill
i mean its not my fault
they got the wrong address
BUGGERS.
grr

mr blue sky please tell me why [ 10:36 PM ]

current song : electric light orchestra - mr blue sky

current mood : weird

spazzy lately

undergoing shitloads of changes

ive been sleeping alot,15 hours a day

i realised i can't everytime some guy decides to phone me,i cant tell apart who is who anymore.

they all are starting to sound alike to me

im not looking forward to anything

future is bleak

yay i just made a baby in happy aquarium with you-know-who

well you actually dont know who

future is bleak anyway

bummer

HE'S THE ALPHABET PONY [ 1:16 PM ]

current song : alphabet pony - the kills
current mood : bored

jeux d'enfants/puke-worthy snacks/sara lee chocolate cake/somebody slept too early

somebody didnt sleep at all/photobooth/jumping in the pool on a saturday morning

sleepovers.

no fun not happy got no money need a friend a volcano dish on a mountain-top to live in

Cancel sunday cancel monday don't look at me i been running on a no-tomorrow road at great speed need a punch a pop a bang a different song like a nice new home needs a mean stray dog

We go up down up down up down town again
we like the walk the talk
don't stop and fall into the quicksand sharp
teeth dry heat can't breathe too many sins don't forget my cigarettes and get something that we can drink

he's the alphabet pony~

kabk [ 6:27 PM ]

current song : sympathy for the devil

current mood : pissed

sometimes i believe that if i chant a mantra in my head daily,for long enough

it will come true

because most of the time,it does

here goes